Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he seems

The top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he (or she) seems:
  1. Arrives day 1 with "SQL For Dummies" in hand.
  2. Searches for ORA-00600 errors on AskJeeves.
  3. Is president of the local MS user group.
  4. Resets the production database password to "manager" to make life easier.
  5. Thinks utl_file is a package the developers wrote.
  6. Is planning an organisation wide upgrade to Excel (but then shelves the plan as copy 'n paste from SQL*Plus to Excel proves too difficult).
  7. Proclaims "A reboot a day keeps the Oracle demons at bay."
  8. Uses ANSI SQL joins.
  9. Looks blank at the mention of Thomas Kyte.
  10. Proclaims that administration is impossible if SSMS isn't installed.
If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire.

(This post courtesy of a slow blogging week while I prepare for OOW, and papers for the AUSOUG conference)

14 comments:

dan said...

11. Does great backups... but has never actually done a recovery.

Noons said...

12. Claims the BCHR is quite low

Tyler said...

Archivelog mode? Is that an 11g new feature?

:) Tyler

Jeffrey Kemp said...

13. Migration of new releases from dev to prod is done solely with SQL Impact.

14. "Test? UAT? They can test in dev!"

Tim... said...

I'm going to "out" myself...

I prefer the ANSI join syntax!

I feel so much better now. I will join the ranks of the "suspect" with pride. :)

Cheers

Tim...

John Scott said...

15. Installs Norton Anti-Virus on the DB machine to protect the integrity of the data.

John.

CSL said...

Installs TOAD

Anonymous said...

Doesn't know how to use nextVal to get the next value from a sequence...(Seriously)

Anonymous said...

Doesn't know how to use nextVal to get the next value from a sequence...(Seriously)

Hapci said...

I'm with you Tim,

I prefer ANSI SQL joins too. They are much more readable.

And I like TOAD too!

LM said...

Hey! What's wrong with TOAD?

Peter K said...

16. Thinks SQL Injection is something you do with needles.

17. Talks about Transact-SQL when asked about the database new features

18. Thinks that DECODE is an data encryption function

Frank said...

ANSI join syntax is clearer :)

Anonymous said...

Creates email template of email to LazyDBA with subject, "immediate help required."