Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire

The top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire:
  1. Complains about these "new fangled stored procedures".
  2. Rants about the good old days of Oracle PE (Punchcard Edition).
  3. Thinks Thomas Kyte is a whipper-snapper (even with the beard).
  4. Still demands all Oracle manuals in hardcopy.
  5. Has a service request with Oracle Support to forward port the RBO to 11g.
  6. Knows about Edgar's secret 13th rule.
  7. Thinks Oracle Support went downhill when they moved the HQ to Redwood Shores in 1989.
  8. Has in his address book.
  9. Still replaces blank lines in PL/SQL with single line comments.
  10. Has an open 10 year old Oracle Support "TAR" to fix a bug in version 7 which he/she wont close because of the "principal of the thing."
If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he (or she) seems.

(Yep, still a slow week while I prepare for OOW and the AUSOUG conference, as well as teach a SQL course. I promise no more "DBA bashing" ;)


Noons said...

Pah! These newbies strutting their punce punched cards!...

Give me some proper punched tape and a patch board and I'll show you some REEEEEAL dba'ing!

And if that doesn't scare you enough:

Happy Halloween!

DomBrooks said...

> Still replaces blank lines in PL/SQL with single line comments

Man! Come on, what's wrong with that? Now you're making me feel paranoid.

Graham said...

Whaddya mean "no more DBA bashing"?

Bah, you take all the fun out of life ;-)

Chris Muir said...

I wish I could work out what this site said when it cross posted?

Laurent Schneider said...

you can use google translate

Thanks to google I know who is Edgar ;-)

Chris Muir said...

Thanks Laurent, I'd tried a few translators with no success, but Google's hits the spot, with such translations as:

"Each is absolute proof of just cattle."

....I'd never heard DBAs described as cattle before, but it seems to fit ;)

Great to hear my humour crosses all language barriers!


Laurent Schneider said...

well, you made me google again, I did not know what was a cattle in French ;-)

Chris Muir said...

Ah, I could have told you that. Which reminds me of my favourite French qoute:

"Fermez la Vache!" ;)

There's a French animation to go with this. I'll see if I can find it.