10 things we probably wont see at OOW08

As I prepare for my next trip to San Fran under the overly generous Oracle ACE Director program, I thought I'd post 10 things we (probably?) wont see at OOW08:

1. Streakers
2. Sessions on "how to deal with your pain-in-the-butt DBA"
3. Larry's keynote rendition of the great oom-pah Chicken Dance
4. An exhibitor recommending their neighbour's solution over their own
5. Tom finally proposing a Developer-DBA hug-a-thon (awwww, give me a hug Tom!)
6. Oracle running on the EeePC (Oracle XEeePC, or ZeepC)
7. Oracle's 2nd standard presentation disclaimer slide replaced with "Our word is your guarantee – or your money back"
8. Out the door queues to get into the "OCI API in detail" session
9. Oracle announcing in its latest round of acquisitions, it accidentally bought itself (apparently Oracle was a great acquisition opportunity as Oracle had great database market share and now Oracle owns 107% of the database market)
10. Oracle staff wearing the new corporate tartan shirts (black on black doesn't count as tartan)

And just for the record, I started writing this post after last year's OOW. Incredibly trite humour like this takes a long time to prepare.