Top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire

The top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire:

1. Complains about these "new fangled stored procedures".
2. Rants about the good old days of Oracle PE (Punchcard Edition).
3. Thinks Thomas Kyte is a whipper-snapper (even with the beard).
   
4. Still demands all Oracle manuals in hardcopy.
5. Has a service request with Oracle Support to forward port the RBO to 11g.
6. Knows about Edgar's secret 13th rule.
7. Thinks Oracle Support went downhill when they moved the HQ to Redwood Shores in 1989.
8. Has larry@rsi.com in his address book.
9. Still replaces blank lines in PL/SQL with single line comments.
10. Has an open 10 year old Oracle Support "TAR" to fix a bug in version 7 which he/she wont close because of the "principal of the thing."
    

If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he (or she) seems.

(Yep, still a slow week while I prepare for OOW and the AUSOUG conference, as well as teach a SQL course. I promise no more "DBA bashing" ;)

Top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he seems

The top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he (or she) seems:

1. Arrives day 1 with "SQL For Dummies" in hand.
2. Searches for ORA-00600 errors on AskJeeves.
3. Is president of the local MS user group.
4. Resets the production database password to "manager" to make life easier.
5. Thinks utl_file is a package the developers wrote.
6. Is planning an organisation wide upgrade to Excel (but then shelves the plan as copy 'n paste from SQL*Plus to Excel proves too difficult).
7. Proclaims "A reboot a day keeps the Oracle demons at bay."
8. Uses ANSI SQL joins.
9. Looks blank at the mention of Thomas Kyte.
10. Proclaims that administration is impossible if SSMS isn't installed.

If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire.

(This post courtesy of a slow blogging week while I prepare for OOW, and papers for the AUSOUG conference)