Pages

▼

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he seems

The top 10 signs your new Oracle DBA may not be all what he (or she) seems:
  1. Arrives day 1 with "SQL For Dummies" in hand.
  2. Searches for ORA-00600 errors on AskJeeves.
  3. Is president of the local MS user group.
  4. Resets the production database password to "manager" to make life easier.
  5. Thinks utl_file is a package the developers wrote.
  6. Is planning an organisation wide upgrade to Excel (but then shelves the plan as copy 'n paste from SQL*Plus to Excel proves too difficult).
  7. Proclaims "A reboot a day keeps the Oracle demons at bay."
  8. Uses ANSI SQL joins.
  9. Looks blank at the mention of Thomas Kyte.
  10. Proclaims that administration is impossible if SSMS isn't installed.
If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Top 10 signs your DBA might need to retire.

(This post courtesy of a slow blogging week while I prepare for OOW, and papers for the AUSOUG conference)

14 comments:

  1. Unknown8:32 am

    11. Does great backups... but has never actually done a recovery.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Noons9:26 am

    12. Claims the BCHR is quite low

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown11:22 am

    Archivelog mode? Is that an 11g new feature?

    :) Tyler

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jeffrey Kemp12:43 pm

    13. Migration of new releases from dev to prod is done solely with SQL Impact.

    14. "Test? UAT? They can test in dev!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tim...3:40 pm

    I'm going to "out" myself...

    I prefer the ANSI join syntax!

    I feel so much better now. I will join the ranks of the "suspect" with pride. :)

    Cheers

    Tim...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous6:33 pm

    15. Installs Norton Anti-Virus on the DB machine to protect the integrity of the data.

    John.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chris Slattery at Version 1 8:11 pm

    Installs TOAD

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11:57 pm

    Doesn't know how to use nextVal to get the next value from a sequence...(Seriously)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous11:58 pm

    Doesn't know how to use nextVal to get the next value from a sequence...(Seriously)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5:31 pm

    I'm with you Tim,

    I prefer ANSI SQL joins too. They are much more readable.

    And I like TOAD too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Leandro8:42 pm

    Hey! What's wrong with TOAD?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Peter K11:08 am

    16. Thinks SQL Injection is something you do with needles.

    17. Talks about Transact-SQL when asked about the database new features

    18. Thinks that DECODE is an data encryption function

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous7:09 pm

    ANSI join syntax is clearer :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous4:08 am

    Creates email template of email to LazyDBA with subject, "immediate help required."

    ReplyDelete

This blog IS CLOSED. It no longer accepts any comments.